A vague pronoun reference occurs when a pronoun could be referring to multiple antecedents. This lack of clarity can lead to confusion, especially in scenes with a lot of people speaking/acting or in scenes with a lot of action, such as a fight.
I spot vague pronouns in almost every story or manuscript I touch. We’re all guilty of being unclear at times, especially when drafting. Thankfully, this is one of the many things that a good line or copy edit can help fix.
Quick Definitions
- Pronoun: a word used in place of a noun (she, him, they, it).
- Antecedent: The noun that comes before a pronoun, to which that pronoun is referencing.
What does a vague pronoun reference look like?
Here’s a very simple example:
Jack told his brother that he did well at the basketball game.
Did Jack do well at the game or was he complimenting his brother? Do you know? Me neither.
Within a greater context, we could probably pick up enough about the scene to know and fill in the answer. But it’s still better for us as writers to be as clear as possible with our wording.
Okay, how do I fix a vague pronoun?
Often we can simply insert the proper name or noun to provide clarity, but sometimes we may be better off rephrasing a sentence altogether.
In the example above, I’d recommend attempting to explain who “he” is from another angle. Depending on the meaning intended, that revision could look like either of the following:
Jack was the basketball player: Jack was proud of how he had done at the basketball game and couldn’t wait to tell his brother about it.
Jack’s brother was the basketball player: Jack congratulated his brother on playing a great game.
After you get into the habit of looking for these vague pronouns, you’ll find yourself writing with greater clarity in future drafts.
These small adjustments are just one of many ways that you can improve your readers’ experience, so make sure you add vague pronouns to your revision checklist!
While I don’t do line editing as a standalone, I do offer line editing in conjunction with my developmental editing service. If you want help with your story and your voice, let’s talk.